Choose Happy

I can't believe how long its been since I've posted anything!  Obviously I'm not a hardcore blogger.  However, this past weekend was a rough one and the Lord put it on my heart to post this.  For a few months now I've been struggling to find joy in my life.  I've hit a low point.  I am constantly complaining and looking at what's wrong with my life than rejoicing in what the Lord has blessed me with.  I've been letting the little, unimportant things get under my skin.  And this attitude is destroying my relationship with loved ones.  For example, I hurt a loved one this weekend (all because I was angry and wanted to hit em where it hurt) and I have never hated myself so much.  I regretted it as soon as it was done.  This action made me feel like a horrible, horrible person and it hit me....things NEED to change.  Changes in my life need to be made.  I need to find that joy that I had a few years ago.  Not the kind that comes and goes but the kind that stays and radiates out to others!  This post was inspired by Undressed Skeleton's blog when she was struggling through a similar situation.  She decided to change and made a list of goals to achieve.  Now here I am with my own personal list and it will be my road map to a happier life.


1.  Start and end my day with the Lord.
God woke me up this morning.  Plain and simple.  He could have taken me in my sleep but He didn't.  He blessed me with another chance to serve and glorify Him.  And that's exactly what I am going to do.  Starting my day off with the Lord means starting my day off right.

"Don't forget to pray today because God didn't forget to wake you up this morning."
"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there.  There is no such thing."  -CS Lewis

2.  Pray daily.
Speaking to my God isn't reserved for just mornings and right before bed.  I'm not obligated to ONLY thank Him when there is food in front of me.  I should constantly be asking Him to reveal Himself and guide me throughout the day.  Prayer is a constant thing.  It should never cease.  Prayer doesn't have to be a long, eloquent speech.  It can be short and simple because you just wanted to talk to Him.  I don't want to reserve a time for Him and that be it.  I don't do that with my friends so why should I with God??

"Always pray and never give up. -Luke 18:1"

3.  Quit Comparing.
I have a terrible habit of comparing myself to others who are (in my mind) better off than me.  I'm 24, living at home, financially unstable, and still in school.  Yet, I see others who are younger beginning their lives on their own.  So I can't help but think, "What did I do wrong?" or "What's wrong with me?  I'm a loser."  No.  That is a wrong state of mind.  We all go through different struggles and situations.  My story is MINE.  And as long as I'm working toward my goals and making progress that's all that matters.  I shouldn't lose hope because of the time it is taking me to finish.

"Be confident.  Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't.  Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are - and aren't - that you will truly succeed."  

4.  Find good in every person, thing or situation.
There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.  ALWAYS.  And I think I forget this because I'm so wrapped up in the negative things.  STOP.....be positive.  Even if people make fun, I will still be positive because I will be happy.  The world will look more beautiful.

"Think the BEST of each other, especially of those you say you love.  Assume the good and doubt the bad."  -Jeffrey R. Holland

5.  No more assuming or expecting.
This is one major aspect of my life that gets me in a lot of trouble and causes the majority of my unhappiness.  When I don't know what's going on or a reasoning behind someones actions I immediately assume the worst possible scenario which in turn drives me crazy and I begin to worry (for no reason) and, even worse, make false accusations!  I make up these false stories in my head and it just crawls under my skin until I explode with rage.  This could be because I have problems trusting others and I am very insecure.  This will make you the most miserable person to live with.  Also, expecting things out of others is just as bad.  Because then I'm just let down and I get mad about something that I THOUGHT should have happened.  Just because it didn't go my way doesn't make anything about a person or situation wrong.  This is a concept I really need to drill in my brain.  And it is going to take hard work and guidance from the Lord to overcome this one.

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."

6.  Eradicate the word HATE from my vocabulary.
Because why not???  What good has that word ever done for anyone?  It's a mean, negative word that shouldn't be used to hurt anyone...even if it is used jokingly.  And needless to say, I've used it multiple times.  I didn't feel any better afterwards either.

"If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."  -1 John 4:20
"Open your mouth if only what you are about to say is more beautiful than silence."  -Arabic proverb

7.  Don't dwell on the past.
Now when I say this, I don't mean to never look back.  You can learn a lot from your past.  Plus, you can never go wrong in reminiscing about happy memories.  I just always take it a little too far and begin to wish I had those days back or I even get embarrassed and cringe about things that happened years ago!!  Think of the good days, smile about them, think of the mistakes and lessons learned and move on.  The keyword here is DWELL.

"Oh yes the past can hurt.  But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it."  -The Lion King

8.  No more complaining.
All complaining does for me is bring me down.  Complaining is such a negative act.  Complaining about something isn't going to change the situation at hand.  If I truly have a problem with something then I need to get up and change it....if I can't change it then leave it be.  Complaining is a waste of energy.  I think this quote by Voltaire is definitely on point.

"The longer we dwell on our misfortunes the greater is their power to harm us."  -Voltaire

9.  Let go and let GOD.  
Boy, do I have a problem with letting things go.  I struggle with that phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff."  If something upsets me I want that person to know that they upset me.  But you know, it never makes the situation better.  I get mad, run my mouth, that person gets mad and a big argument begins.....over something so silly and small too.  Sometimes it even turns into something completely different than what originally started it.  So....let go of things and let God have control of not only the situation but that person who hurt me and me for letting it get to me so much.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee:  because he trusteth in thee." -Isaiah 26:3
"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."

10.  Listen more, talk less.
This pretty much speaks for itself.  When having a discussion, an argument, or if someone is just telling me a story...halfway through I stop listening because I get so eager to respond.  Also, I talk....A LOT.  Once I get started I don't shut up.  (Obviously, this post is an example...sorry by the way).

"Stop listening with the intent to reply and start listening with the intent to understand."  -Stephen Covey
"I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen."  -Ernest Hemingway

11.  Be kind.
Who am I to criticize people and their actions? Who am I to judge others for being who they are?  Why do I have the right to point out other peoples flaws when I clearly have a plethora of my own?  I want to speak only words of kindness.  I want to encourage and compliment people.  This simple act can make such a difference in your life.  I am determined to be uplifting.  I want to help others and, like Mother Teresa said, have people leave me feeling happier.  I don't know what battles people are facing.  And even so, the ONLY one that has the right to judge anyone is God.

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger."  -Proverbs 15:1
"Spread love everywhere you go.  Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."  -Mother Teresa

12.  Be disciplined.
Oh how I struggle with this.  I don't know why it is so hard for me.  Maybe I'm just lazy.  Or I make up way too many excuses then regret it later.  Being disciplined and persistent will get things done.  Areas I need to be disciplined in...umm, everything!  From working out and eating better to school work to spending time with God.

"Good things come to those who wait.  No.  Good things come to those who work their butts off and never give up."

13.  Laugh.
If at the end of the day I don't feel like I've laughed enough then I'm just gonna head on over to the humor section of Pinterst (that stuff is hilarious) or watch the Big Bang Theory or play with my dogs.  Ending my day with laughter and the Lord....what could be better???  I think we all need more laughter in our lives.  It will instantly make you happier.  Find humor in everything.

"Laughter is timeless."  -Walt Disney

14.  Me time.
I am constantly texting others, on Facebook or Pinterest, or talking with family.  I never take time to put all of those things away and do things for me.  This is so important, yet I think a lot of us forget this concept.  We are so consumed in helping others and sometimes feel guilty if we do spend quality time with ourselves.  When I say "me time," I'm talking about working out (it makes me so much happier), eating better (I will have so much more energy), going on walks with my dogs (maybe, my dogs kind of stress me out when we go on walks...they are crazy), spending time outside (I love being outside, especially in the evenings), listening to music, reading a good book, etc..  These are just a few things I love that will instantly make me happier and feel at peace.  Doing something for myself...everyday, that's what I plan to do.

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent.  Caring for myself is an act of survival."  -Audre Lorde

15.  Breath more.
Deep breaths make everything better.  When I'm anxious or worried taking deep breaths calm me down.  I need to remember this.

"Breath in, breath out, move on."  -Jimmy Buffet 

16.  Overuse "I love you."
Plain and simple.  If I love someone, I need to tell them.  I don't mean use it until it has no meaning on anyone and everyone.  But to those that I truly love with all my heart, that I cherish, then why not tell them?  They have a right to know that they are loved.  Even if it is just little old me...someone loves them.  I'm a firm believer in "Actions speak louder than words," but that doesn't mean words are useless.  I not only want to show my love but tell them also.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  -1 Peter 4:8


So there ya have it!  My road map to a happier life.  There were so many more things I had listed but for your sake I decided to cut it down to the MAJOR things.  The others will just fall into place.  I want to look back at this post in and think "Wow, I've come a long way."  I want to see just how happier I am because of this so called road map.  I plan to print this out and keep copies in my backpack, Bible, purse, car, etc.  So it is always with me and if I begin to lose faith or start to sink back into the darkness I'll be able to pull it out and remind myself of the important things.  Heck, feel free to check up on me if you want.  I wont be offended.  Send me a text or Facebook message or comment on here and ask how I've been doing.  If you are in a place similar to me then I encourage you to make your own personal list and start TODAY to be a happier version of you.  CHOOSE HAPPY.

"God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing.  All you need is faith." -Joel 2:25

Glasses

All I have to say is that.....Next pair of glasses? I think yes!

Sweetness...

Today's choice was....brownies!!! It was my first time making brownies and I'm actually surprised out how good they turned out. There are only three pieces left. Craziness!!! I did however make a minor mistake, actually two. One, I left out an ingredient. Nuts. Gross. I hate brownies with nuts. And two, I didn't let them cook long enough. They were still a little gooey. But no worries, they were still good! That just means I will get them right next time!!

My Recipe Box

My goodness, it has been a while. I've been a tad bit busy and haven't been able to think of anything to write about. BUT! I finally have something!!! :) First I need to explain what led up to this wonderful post. ;) One morning before Halloween I was bored and we had some unbaked cookies in the fridge. So, naturally, I decided to make them. I'm not a cook and I have never really cooked anything in my life. And I don't really consider making cookies actual cooking. All I had to do was separate them and put them in the oven. Anywho, after they were done, I went to work, and came home. My mom, who is a wonderful cook, ate them and said that they were perfect. I "cooked" them just right! Her saying that made me feel awesome! So I kept making cookies. I think in the past two weeks I've made almost a hundred cookies. :) Well now....I have decided to continue the baking process. And I'm so excited to get started!!! I made my first meal yesterday and it wasn't terrible! Which made me feel even better!!! Also, there is a bake sale coming up in two weeks at church. Between that and baking for Thanksgiving, I'm gonna get tons of practice!!! I will definitely keep you updated on all the grub I'll be making!...and including pictures of it of course ;)

This is just traditional mac n cheese. Not anything big or special, but it was my first meal I made on my own. It was lunch so to fill us all up and keep it a one dish meal I added chopped ham. It was delicious!

By the way, as of right now, I'm getting all my recipes from this website: http://www.verybestbaking.com/Recipes.aspx ENJOY!!!

Banos!!!!

Today was our free day and it was the coolest thing ever!!! First I had to lead the devotion this morning and it actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I spoke about having faith and used the verse Hebrews 11:6. If you go back to my post on march 24, you will see what I talked about. :) I had to do my devotion on the bus which I wasn't too thrilled about. But oh well. We went to the house of Jim Elliot and the other four missionary men that died here in Ecuador. That was pretty cool because I read Elizabeth Elliot's books and I have always heard of what happened. Then we went across the street to see the airplanes they take into the villages. After we finished up there we went to this EXTREMELY nice restaurant. It had a little forest outside and there were parrots! And it was right by the river so we went down there and it was so pretty! Once we were finished eating we headed up to the place where we could hike down the mountain to the waterfall. And words cannot express how BEAUTIFUL it was!!! I mean how can you go to places like we did today and not believe in God??? I mean really? We climbed through this cave and got to stand behind the waterfall where we got soak n wet. And then when we were hiking back up there was this man with a huge snake and you could pay a dollar to take a picture with it around you. Well I've never done that before so I did it and it was so scary!!! But so cool!!! When we had all made it back to the top we went to this place where you could ride a cable car across this valley thing. That was very neat also. After that we headed to Banos and walked around for about an hour. It had such cool stuff!! Tons of shops and it was sooooo cheap. I mean very very cheap!!! I bought everyone souvenirs and myself stuff and I wish we could have stayed longer because I wanted to shop more!!! Then we headed back to the hotel and our group time tonight, oh my goodness, was very emotional. It was our last night in Ecuador and just wow. Too emotional for me. I cried. Bryan washed Kyle's feet and pretty much everyone was crying. It was awesome but sad at the same time. A bittersweet moment. I enjoyed today so much and I would love love love to go back to Banos. It was just so beautiful!!!

Faith: the evidence of things not seen

So I didn't get a chance to post anything Thursday night because we didn't get in until late and then I needed to focus on my devotion I had to do Friday morning. I don't think I would have been able to post anything anyway because I was so stressed about that devotional. But now I'm here to post about all the wonderful things that took place Thursday. We went to the University again and went to the same classes. The first class was great and they were all very nice just like the day before. However, the second class was absolutely amazing!!! We did some stuff for their class and then we moved all of the desks and Trevor and I taught them how to two step and line dance! It was so funny! We had my ipod plugged up to the radio so we could have music. They really enjoyed the line dancing. They kept asking to do it again. Ha ha. Then they tried to teach Trevor and I how to salsa, but it wasn't working too well. Afterwards, the team was hosting a little pizza and movie night at Bryan's house and we were supposed to invite the students from our class. Well Trevor and I waited downstairs at the University for the people from our class that was coming and the entire class came! It was so awesome!!! So I got pretty close with a few of them and I made a bet with them: if I can't speak Spanish next year than I have to buy them lunch but if I can they have to buy me lunch. :) They don't think I can do it. I can't wait to prove them wrong! Lol. We had a little dance contest also after the movie was over. Trevor and I were in the middle of Bryan's living room doing some kind of dance. And then it got a little crazy so we had to stop. After everyone left we had our devotional and it was once again amazing. Thursday was a really good day just like every other day. I didn't want it to be my last day at the University. I am definitely coming back next year!

Planting seeds....

So today went a whole lot better than I was expecting. I was very nervous and didn't know what to expect. BUT it went great!!! Bryan, Robbie, Zack, and I went to a class at the University this morning for two hours and we just got to know the students and vice versa. I absolutely loved it. Then the whole group reunited and we played frisbee and we got some students out there to play with us for a few hours and they really enjoyed it. At around 3:30 we went to the next class. I was with Trevor and Trish and at first it started out kind of rough for me. I didn't really say much. However, once a little time went by and the students continued to talk and ask question it got better. I got asked if I had a boyfriend and if they could have my number. Lol. All of these Ecuadorians were crazy about us. Pretty much everyone was asked if they were single. It was very funny. Anyway, we invited each class to come to one of our translators, Rebecca, for a night of worship. Just worship. Well, to be completely honest I wasn't expecting a lot of the students to come but oh how I was wrong. I was sitting down looking at my pictures on my camera and I look up and one whole side is filled with the afternoon class I was at!!! I was so excited!!! I went and said hi and sat by them and once the worship started I lost it. I was so happy these kids showed up. It just really touched my heart. Then they started leaving during it and I couldn't just stay in there so I had to go outside to see what was going on. Well they had to leave because of class in the morning and they lived far away. But needless to say it was still absolutely amazing!!! I love worship and I loved tonight. The songs really touched my heart and our group time, man, the things that were said really inspired and encouraged me also. I really am looking forward to tomorrow when we go back to the classes. These students are just so friendly and nice and laid back. :)

P.S. I don't think I've mentioned how the people in Ecuador greet. They do the little kiss on the cheek thing. Ha ha, I have always wanted to greet people like that. I find every reason to do it now. Lol. I love meeting people here. :D I know, I'm a dork.

{Humbleness}

Words cannot even describe how amazing today was. I absolutely love it here! Today we went to a village and washed the kids feet, gave them suckers, had a spiritual clinic to talk to them about Jesus, painted their fingernails, played with them, etc. It was such a humbling experience to see the smile on the kids faces when we were washing their feet and then gave them their new socks and boots. I am just so thankful that God gave me the opportunity and made it available for me to come down here and serve Him and His children. It has only been two days and today was our first work day and I have already been blessed more than you can imagine!! Being with those kids, playing with them and painting their fingernails just touched my heart so much. I didn't want to leave. And I want to go back tomorrow and the next day and the next and the next. :) We then spent some time with the college group down here, had a Bible study with them and painted our Amazing Race t-shirts with our partner. I love my partner already!! She is amazing and she is smaller than me but two years older!!!! I didn't think it was possible!!!! Ha ha. I'll get to spend more time with her tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. Our group time was very touching as well. Mike spoke and did a great job and then we just talked about the day and how we were blessed. Well I can say I was blessed just by listening to what others had to say. Overall, today was a spectacular day and I KNOW that God is going to continue working in my life and touching my heart in the days to come.

No hablo espanol...

Today was a fantastic day!!! And I quickly learned that I REALLY need to learn some Spanish. It's ridiculous how little I know. We went to the University down here to get familiar with the campus and introduce ourselves to the students. We first split up into groups and I was with Jennifer, Mike, and Trevor. I felt like a loser because they all knew at least enough Spanish to get through a conversation. I on the other hand had to look to others to get me through. Anyways, we went to the engineering department and a professor from the food engineering class introduced herself to us and invited us into her classroom. She was extremely nice and we talked with her for about 30 minutes. She invited us over to teach us how to make pizza and talk with her kids. Unfortunately, we couldn't go because we had other plans with the team. After we finished talking to her we walked to the English department and Trevor started talking to a guy named Gustavo that he met last year. I was standing with them just listening and Gustavo introduced two of his friends to me and Trevor. Then a few minutes later Trevor left me with these guys. However, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. These guys were as sweet as can be and their English was greatness!!! I was very thankful. And I enjoyed talking to them greatly. After about 15 or 20 minutes of talking to them about 5 of us went to each English class and introduced ourselves. These students were just fascinated with us and so nice. It was very inspiring and encouraging. I'm really looking forward to Wednesday and Thursday when we are back on the campus. Later on we visited the orphanage that Thomas and Deborah are buying and that was a lot of fun also. I'm excited to see what God is going to do with that. We then went back to Thomas and Deborah's house to paint boots and Deborah asked me to go downtown with her and one of our translators to pick up some more boots. Well of course I accepted and it was craziness!!! The driving scares the heck out of me and there were people everywhere just walking in the streets and stuff. I was shocked that we didn't hit anyone or anything. I saw some crazy stuff too, for example, one of those robot men that dress up in like foil and paint their faces gold. It was so cool but I didn't have my camera which I was extremely bummed about. Lastly, we had our group time tonight and all I have to say is it was wonderful! I know God is about to do some amazing things in our lives and I can't wait to see how He moves in our hearts.

We are going to a village tomorrow to wash feet and give out shoes to the children and this is the thing I am most excited about. I can't wait to love on these little kids.

Leaving on a jet plane....

I've never actually heard that song except when it was sung on Armageddon. And I like it! :) I thought it was an appropriate title for this post......

The Ecuador group left this morning at 4:50am and we did not arrive to our destination until 11:30. I didn't think I was going to make it considering I didn't go to sleep the night before. I went out with a friend one last time before I left and we got back at 2 and they didn't leave till 4 which was when I needed to get up. I have no regrets though because that night was absolutely amazing!

Anyway, I absolutely love airports and flying and considering I haven't been on a plane in 2 years I was filled with excitement! And it was quite an adventure. These people I am traveling with are such great people and they make me laugh constantly. I'm so thankful that God blessed me with this amazing opportunity and to share with some wonderful people. We started off in Dallas, flew to Miami and had a 3 hour lay over because our flight got delayed, then hopped on the plane to Ecuador. That flight was a little rough, I'm not gonna lie. It was a four hour flight. Longest I've ever been on a plane. However, they did put on a good movie that I have been wanting see: The Tourist. I only lasted about thirty minutes into it though then fell asleep. And then we got dinner which was actually pretty good! Shocking. Once we arrived in Ecuador it got a little crazy. But we survived it. We had to ride on a bus for three hours just to get us to the town we are serving in. I'll just say this real quick...two hours into the bus ride I was starting to get cranky and it didn't help that once we FINALLY got to the hotel they wanted to talk for about 30 minutes to an hour. I wanted to shoot myself. BUT I still had a lot of fun today. And I can't wait to see what God has planned for the rest of this week.

Funny story: I didn't get my second ticket from Miami to Ecuador so Chad and I had to talk to the people and the lady asked me, get this, "If I was older than 15?". Really?!